Spellbound
Ensemble
Flute, Oboe, B-flat Clarinet, Bass Clarinet, Bassoon, Horn, Trumpet, Trombone, 2 Percussion, Harp, 2 Violins, Viola, Cello, Double Bass
Duration
Approx. 8 minutes
Recording
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Score
Notes
A recent listen to a 10-year-old piece, Spellbound, has shown me that I’ve come to appreciate the value of my mind when it comes to my distinctive sound. I realize how music school has taught me to focus on the “problems” with my compositions, labeling my early work as “scatterbrained” and “indecisive.”
The journey of Spellbound began during my visit to UT Austin. Inspired by a captivating performance in Bates Concert Hall as a prospective student, I started composing a piece that captured what it felt like to fall in love with Eugene, a place I’d soon be leaving, all over again. I continued working on the piece during the summer at Brevard Music Center, where I premiered it with a 17-piece ensemble – at the time, the largest instrumentation for a BMC new music concert.
After starting grad school, I hesitated to share Spellbound with the New Music Ensemble director. My former instructor was harshly critical of the piece as I composed it entirely without his help, but I later realized his ego was hurt and that I was actually protecting my music from him. Encouraged by my grad school roommates, I submitted the piece to the NME director, and it was eventually performed in the hall, where I made many memories as a work-study student, performer, and composer.
All these years later, I can still understand the decisions I made in composing Spellbound. The piece reflects my growth as an artist, a person with ADHD asserting their voice, struggling with masculinity, and embracing continuous transitions in my music—all things that seemed to make my teachers uncomfortable. Through composing pieces like Spellbound, I’ve learned to let go, forgive myself, and truly listen to my voice – a lesson I now share with my students.
As I guide my students, I strive to help them understand their unique narratives and make conscious decisions in their compositions. I encourage them to create music that “makes their brains happy. Embracing my neurodivergence has been a transformative journey, and revisiting this piece reminds me to foster that same acceptance in others.
World Premiere
February 18, 2013 at The University of Texas at Austin New Music Ensemble (Brendan Ryan, Bethany Lawrence, Tim Skinner, Alex Perez, Katie Clark, Paul Blackstone, Joe Cooper, Blair Castle, Tristan Boyd, Meredith McCay, Hanna Hurwitz, Kyoung-Joo Sung, Angela Grasso, Anna Záborszky, Tejs Dragheim), Bates Recital Hall at the Sarah and Ernest Butler School of Music.
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